I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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