That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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