Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
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You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
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Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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