Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
