We're facebook friends in real life
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
