No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
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I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
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Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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