Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Randomize
