She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
