I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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