if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
