i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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