Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
