i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
pop tarts are not kleenex
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize