it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
