mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize