My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
