wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
