True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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