Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
