They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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