I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize