i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
