I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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