Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
