Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
