I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
