I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Randomize
