I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Randomize
