Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
