The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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