Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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