I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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