the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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