I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
