You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
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