hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize