you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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