all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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