one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Even my vagina gasped.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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