This girl is more easily done than said...
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
