Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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