did you get engaged???
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
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The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
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MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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