bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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