Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
