Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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