Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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