Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
