I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize