Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
