I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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