Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
