Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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