I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
