You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
