Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
