he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
