I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
